How I Cut My Leg

By J.P. Nix

       An uninteresting title, but it is an interesting tale.

The night that it happened, it had been dark and raining.  When it had stopped raining, the full moon shone brightly down.  The moon was so bright, illuminating the sky that all could be seen below it.

             Even though light drizzle was pouring down from the sky, I had some mail that just had to be put in the mailbox at the end of my driveway that night. If I had waited until the next morning, the story would have ended here.

            I dashed off the front porch, down the driveway, raising the flag after closing the mailbox.  I turned, and that’s when I saw it.  I had heard stories of the Big Dog.  But not being one to believe in tales of the neighborhood, I quickly turn a deaf ear to any such fabrication.  After this I will never dismiss accounts of things I hear again.

            The dog was huge.  So big and long, it would have to go to the end of the street, near-bout-it, to turn himself around.  I could tell the dog was hairy too.  A fearsome creature walking out of the shadows into the full moonlight.

I couldn't tell if he was smiling at me to show me his teeth, or growling at me to frighten me.  The sharp teeth fell from his massive jaws like ice picks off a garage after a snowstorm. I took to running as fast as my feet would carry me.  He followed his prey with great lunges one after another. At first I was running through the front yards of neighbors I didn't know.  I kept running.  The pounding got louder.  I didn't look back.  I could hear him bark after me with a deep voice.

            Faster, faster I ran.  But there was no point, I could not lose the tremendous creature following. Then I made a dash to the middle of the street, hoping that this might deter him.  It did not.

            Down the street I ran farther, gradually my speed increasing. To my dismay, when my speed increased so did my predator's.  I quickly glanced over at my shoulder at the Big Dog, whose bright teeth was shining at me.  At one point in the road, the moon light must have hit the Big Dog's teeth.  The light then reflected off his teeth and hit me in the eyes, blinding me temporarily.

I was now staggering, running wildly down the road.  Rubbing my eyes, while hearing the Big Dog closing in on me. The moment I got my sight back, my speed was increasing, I looked over my shoulder again to see the Big Dog diving for me, his jaws opened wide. And then darkness surrounded me.

            In the middle of the road a man-hole-cover had been removed, which left an open hole.  Not watching what was before me, I fell down to darkness.  I could feel the blood trickling down my leg, after I hit the bottom and stood.

             The hole was too small for the big dog to get into.  If it hadn't been, I'm sure at that moment, the dog would have been enjoying me as a after-dinner-mint. The dog continued to bark at me, trying his best to plunge downward in the hole, but to no avail.

            I stood there laughing at him.  "Ha.  Fool you, didn't I? Can't get me now. I'm too good for you.  I'm a smooth operator!"

             I took my cigarette lighter out, and with it worked my way through the winding tunnels to another street where I was able to climb out of the road.  From a payphone, I called my wife who bandaged my badly cut leg after she picked me up in the car.

              When asked how I cut my leg, I told her the story you just read.  She didn't believe it either.  But that’s how it happened, I swear.